Still Here...

I've took a break from the blogging...actually forgot it existed for quite sometime.

I'm doing well enough.  Of course, I'm sad that we will never have a biological child, but I mostly try not to think about it.  I might think about it a couple times a week, so not too bad!  I'm over Thailand adoption, I believe.  Our state has a very nice infant program for people under 40, without children, so we are on the "waiting list"...that's what they call it, but really it's the waiting list to get on the waiting list!  Haha.  So maybe we will get on the real waiting list next year!  I'm excited...not sure how hubs feels.  I think he's just tired of baby talk, so he's not too interested right now.  Not like he says no we can't adopt, just I don't want to talk about it for a while.  He knows we are on the list, and there is no obligation at this point.  I feel very confident he will come around in due time.

It is very nice to be done with IVF, very nice, indeed!  It's nice to have an end, even if it's not the end I pictured.  At my WTF appt., doc said it must be my embryos b/c he can't see any other reason that I am not pregnant by now.  That, even though the embryos look good, they may not be in actuality, and if we ever do go back to IVF, he suggests CGH.  Part of me believes him...he's highly regarded, been an RE for 30+ years, so he knows his stuff; certainly better than I do.  Part of me just can't believe it's the embryos though.  I am 27, my husband 30, so how could it be our embryos!  I still sorta think it's my uterus, but he says there is not reason I can't get pregnant with a unicornuate.  It just seems crazy to me that every step of the way there is a new bump.  The reason this all started is because of a hydrosalpinx.  If it weren't for that I should have been able to get pregnant naturally (even with unicornuate).  So i take care of the hydro....uterus should have been the only roadblock at this point.  1 IVF and 2 FETs later, still not pregnant.  Dr S. convinces me it's my lining and NK cells...so i go with that, we fix those problems....1 IVF and 1 FET later, and now it's my embryos that are the issue!  How many problems can one person have!  Whatever.  No need to analyse.

Negative

Well, that's it for me and ivf...at least for a while. Now, I've got my mind on Thai adoption. I'm gonna think it through for a while then probably get the ball rolling. It will take approx 3 years for the whole Thai adoption, so it'll still be a good while, but I'm excited!